The strange feeling I experienced the first time I looked into Michael’s eyes has kept haunting me. I’m always in control of my body. Even when I’m passed wasted drunk, I still know exactly what I am doing. It’s harder, true, but I’m the one calling the shots. Feeling I can’t move, can’t speak, feeling someone else taking over my body, my mind just couldn’t really cope with it and kept trying to find an answer.

Thanks to Joanna Young’s challenge, the Mission Im(possible) Group Writing Project, I found a way to exorcise my “daemon”. I wrote the lyrics for a song called “Mesmerized”. I imagine it to be a rock song. Something like the Queen of the Damned soundtrack, or something like Tea Party. Maybe even Evanescence. But definitely a rock song with oriental influences. So here goes, hope you love it.

P.S. My maker, as in the writer of the novel, has never written song lyrics either

Mesmerized

He has frozen your body, feel the trap in his eyes
You are under a spell, you have been mesmerized
Don’t bother to fight it, they are useless, your tries
Cold shivers take over to keep you paralyzed

You cry and you scream and you punch and you fight
But the grip that he’s got’s getting ever so tight
You can’t breathe, you can’t think, there’s no word of delight
And the grip that he’s got’s getting ever so tight

Yet you can’t help but notice the promise of a smile
Let go of your worries, it will all be just fine
And you know he is willing to reach the end of the trial
Throw Nature’s tide over, share a glimpse of divine

You cry and you scream and you punch and you fight
But the grip that he’s got’s getting ever so tight
You can’t breathe, you can’t think, there’s no word of delight
And the grip that he’s got’s getting ever so tight

It’s so interesting to watch Michael try to pick up girls. The guy who couldn’t get why women drooled over him. Why the potential secretaries he was interviewing for a job were more interested in him than the job! The guy who seemed to have no mirrors or not see very well! And here he was, making his move, playing his little game, seeming insecure and tripping. He was trying so hard to get noticed by women when Victor and I were with him.

What amuses me every time is the fact that he expects to blow it somehow. But then he doesn’t. Cause he’s all dreamy, gorgeous and simply breathtaking. I suspect he secretly wants to fail, cause the moment things start to go great, the girl is laughing, her eyes watch every movement of his eyes, every stroke through his dark hair, he makes up an excuse and we go someplace else.

He’s all bitter and sarcastic with me. Nothing I say ever seems to please him. He finds it unbearable to sit with the two of us, yet they always ask me to come along. He seeks the company of other women, gets it, and then doesn’t want it anymore.

Victor, on the other hand, makes quite an effort not to get lured by other women. And they try, they do try! I guess that’s the disadvantage of going out with two strikingly handsome men. Women will always be interested. I do appreciate his efforts though. His trying to listen to me and engage in conversation. It stands out, especially when Michael does the exact opposite. Michael who I could talk to for hours.

I like Victor. I like his playfulness, the adventurous spirit he breathes through all his pores. But he’s definitely not Michael. He lacks the genuine soul Michael has. He’s too wrapped up in his game plan, to focused on a prize that’s not that valuable. But I’m nevertheless enjoying his taking an interest in me.

I do wonder how it will all turn out. Will Michael get over this weird state? Will Victor actually act on all the little flirty remarks he keeps making? It’s all very puzzling. I wish I could turn back the time, be at the party again, when I thought I knew what the future held for me…