Costinesti, the place lost in my memories

I remember the mad throwing and exchanging of clothes. I remember the make up suggestions and the mascara tips. I remember it took hours to get ready. I remember the long walk from where we were staying to The club. Cause it was a given, Tineretului, all night, every night!

Photo from Wikipedia

Trying to make way between hundreds of teenagers moving in all directions. The smell of fried fish, kebab, doughnuts, boiled sweet corn, burritos, French fries and spices. People eating, drinking and laughing all over the tiny street, and a 5 minutes walk taking us over 20 minutes. Read more…

One of my guilty pleasures

One of the first blogs I read was called Perfectly Imperfect. Published on the Blogger platform. I was reading about 3 blogs at the time. But this one became my very own addiction. I went through the archives and read every post she (Tina Romano, which was not her real name) published. And I was fervently waiting for a new one, checking for something new a few times a day. I didn’t know about RSS readers back then.

It was a blog written by a woman a bit older than me. Open minded, a little crazy, full of interesting and funny stories. I hoped to be like her in some regards later on. Her old blog turned private at a certain point. And I lost track of her writing. I then rediscovered Perfectly Imperfect. I, of course, instantly subscribed! Reading through her blog, I realized that I didn’t fully understand it back then. I’m closer to it now.

She always had these very cool taglines. But one of them always made me smile… “When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad, I’m better”.

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before

As I was watching the sunset and the bloody, beautiful skies over the Otopeni airport, I felt sad and excited at the same time. Sad for the day that was soon to be over, knowing that I’d miss the warm light. Excited about the night unfolding in front of me. Listening to Raemonn’s “Beautiful Sky” and feeling the melancholy sink in. Open your open mind! I need to, in order to accept everything that I am discovering. No more innocent times. Knowing the mystery, being part of it, turning it into day-to-day reality, that means leaving all innocence behind. I wonder what else about the world I should know. Not that I know that much to start with.

And as I finally say goodbye to the day, other lyrics flood my mind…

Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses
Abandon their defenses Read more…

Is consistency too much to ask for?

I am puzzled be people and how they choose to act. It’s so puzzling at times! There’s a constant lack of consistency in their attitude, their words, their tone. Is it too much to ask for less swings? I mean, it’s not like feelings change like that from an hour to the next. It’s not like we want to spend time with someone now, to no longer want it 30 minutes later, to then want it again, if they give us an extra 15 minutes.

I feel it all comes from fear. I’ve been too nice, too friendly, too reveling of how I actually feel. My guard is down, I could get hurt, so why not pull away from it all. Just a short break; act all weird and obnoxious for a few days. Or even less. Then I can resume my formerly pleasant persona!

While I do understand why it happens, how and what to do about it, sometimes I just feel we’re wasting our time with nonsense. As Frank Herbert very well explained in Dune, fear is the mind killer. It also kills our spirit, our ability to hope and to try again.

Why are you still surprised?

If you’ve reached a point in your life where you’ve realized you don’t really know everything about yourself and can really shock everyone (you included), why are you still taken by surprise by things you haven’t forseen? It’s crazy! Take it on an as is basis, allow yourself a “Wow, really?” moment and move on. Stop overanalyzing!